


actively ignoring the parts we didn't like

by theweightofus



Category: One Direction (Band), Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Shameless (US) AU, Smut, Teacher Harry, and the twins are the twins, but it's poorly written, fizzy acts like ian, homosexuality is okay in the south side bc this is my au and i do what i want, lottie is a little like lip, louis is basically fiona gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:03:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1852315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theweightofus/pseuds/theweightofus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“and” he adds after a moment “i could do something myself”</p><p>louis’ breath stops and he thinks <i>what wait nonono this can’t be happening</i>.</p><p>“for you” harry adds after a moment, leaning toward him and kissing him.</p><p> </p><p>or louis has four sisters and two useless parents, harry is a teacher who gives blowjobs as favors and they all live in chicago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	actively ignoring the parts we didn't like

**Author's Note:**

> alright so there are two things i'm obsessed with: shameless US and harryandlouis. this said, i just really wanted to write a shameless au, but i couldn't picture harry as neither jimmy/steve nor mickey so i just changed the plot a bit.  
> thanks emma bc she checked the story last night at 12am!  
> title from "ghost" by folly and the hunter!  
> leave feedback if you like, thank you!

louis knows this house well and he may hate it a bit. he knows it like the back of his hands, and he could tell you the specific shelf that got fizzy to break her nose when she was five; the duvet that their dad had used to hide his wife's meds three years ago, just before she left; the spot on the carpet where daisy had spilled all of her glitter gel over.

he opens his eyes slightly and there's a pair of eyes watching him behind the door.

“phoebe" he says, hoping he's right. the kid takes a step back and smiles sheepishly. louis gets off the bed, yawns and asks "you okay?". phoebe nods, but doesn't move. louis sighs, tired. he stands up and gets out of his bedroom, following pheobe down the stairs, wondering why the hell she's still not talking, even after two years and a half.

when he's in the kitchen he checks the hour; it's 6:30am. he doesn't have the strength to cook a proper breakfast, and he knows phoebe is aware that pancakes are only for weekends, so he settles for milk and cereals for his sister and a cup of tea for himself. "i've got an interview tomorrow" he says, circling the rim of the cup with his fingers "so it'll be lottie and fizzy to make you breakfast". he doesn't expect an answer, and it never comes, but he's used to the silence now. he hears some footsteps upstairs, and then lottie's voice telling fizzy to "hurry up, we all need to pee". 

and it’s normal, it is all so familiar that louis can’t help but cringe a little bit, because this shouldn’t be normal. there should be jay in the kitchen, cooking breakfast while phoebe is jabbering like she used to do some years ago. mark should be reading his newspaper and drinking coffee like normal fathers, and not empting another bottle of whiskey.

but it’s been like this since the twins were born, and the previous situation was even worse, living in a van with charlotte and felicite, their parents always out and without food.

so, he doesn’t think about it. he keeps doing whatever this is called, acting like a father, hoping phoebe and daisy have a good childhood, because if he stops, if he lets himself distract, he’ll get lost. they’re all lost.

//

after the kids have gone out and he’s sure to be the only one left in the house, louis decides to go to his best friend’s house, just across the road, to ask him if they can borrow his toaster for the fourth time in a month.

when he knocks, though, no one answer. he sighs, wondering whether his best friends is fucking with his boyfriend niall at eight o' clock or just still sleeping.

he sighs, shakes his head and goes back home. he starts recollecting his things to get ready for work, when suddenly someone enters from the back door and starts shouting incomprehensive things to no one.

"mark" louis mutters under his breath, going into the kitchen to kick him out before he fucks something up. when he faces his father, the man is opening the fridge and getting himself another beer, without noticing his (not-actual) son next to him, a serious expression on his face.

"the fuck you want?" mark asks, opening the bottle rapidly. "to kick your ass out of the house" louis says. mark frowns, seemingly affronted. "you can't kick me out of my own house!" he protests.

"i can, since you're not the one paying the bills".

"this is not right. i help"

"yes, when you're not here. now go away, i won't let you stay here alone"

mark sighs, shakes his head and take another bottle of beer, and then he's out.

//

when louis gets home, he just wants to go to bed and sleep 'till next year, but lottie is suddenly complaining about fizzy wasting time in the bathroom and daisy is shouting about something super-cool her new teacher - mr. stile or something like that, louis can't remember his name - made them do today.

“fiz" louis shouts, knocking at the door "you're not the only one in this house, so get the fuck out there and come help me with dinner!”

he puts into the microwave the pasta zayn gave him yesterday. he waits for it to warm up, while the girls lay the table talking animatedly. when they sit to eat, no one spares a glance to the two empty seats. they are all used to it now, or so thinks louis. they're telling each other every kind of things, when suddenly daisy shouts:"mr styles gave phoebe a paper today!". everyone first looks at daisy and then at phoebe, who's stopped eating and is looking at louis with those big puppy eyes which always reminds him of their mother.

"is daisy saying the truth, phoebe?" lottie asks, immediately assuming the role of the responsible one. phoebe nods, and it's so subtle that it's almost unnoticeable. "make us see, love" louis says, gently. phoebe disappears, going up the stairs, and comes back some minutes later with a letter in his hands.

“she did nothing” daisy adds, while louis is opening the letter and lottie and fizzy are eyeing it, both curious. “she’s good”

“we know, daisy, don’t worry” lottie says.

the sentences on the piece of paper are written in a messy but readable handwriting, clearly belonging to a male.

“what does it say?” felicite asks.

“dear mr and mrs tomlinson” he reads “i require an appointment on friday at six p.m. to talk about your daughter phoebe. we ought to talk about her quietness and the best way for us to cope with it. yours respectfully, harry styles”.

“fuck” charlotte exclaims.

“language” louis instantly says. “where do you think we live?”

“southside chicago” she replies.

“right” louis sighs. “fuck”.

//

“they asked for mr. and mrs tomlinson” louis says the day after, while zayn is helping him decide what to wear for the job interview. “and mark can’t go, you know that”.

“yeah” zayn replies, lighting a cigarette “they’d probably call social service like the last time”

“fuck, no, that’s when felicite got sent to that house with the scary girls. she got into a fight at least twice a day”

they both remain silent for a moment, then zayn suddenly asks “you have never met the teacher, haven’t you?”

“never seen him” louis replies, not getting what zayn means.

“and he’s never met mark either”

“as long as i know”

zayn smirks. “you’re twenty-three. the girls are ten. you can easily pass for their father”

oh. “oh. no. i am not doing this. it can’t end up well”

“but c’mon, louis, it’ll be easier! he won’t find out! you just tell them your wife has left and that’s why phoebe doesn’t talk!”

louis sighs. “this is a fucking bad idea”.

zayn smiles. “no, this is a fucking brilliant idea. and you’ll do it”.

//

louis' boss is a fucking piece of shit. louis told him twice that he had to get off work earlier because of family's problems, and it's not his fault his boss never fucking listens to his employers. so there's a reason if he's running late to the appointment and he has lost his fucking job. _they will never find someone who cook waffles as well as me_ , louis thinks bitterly while he's trying to give himself some restraint, hoping the teacher won't notice the cream stain on the sleeve of his jacket or the little remains of polish on his nails because daisy decided it would be a good idea to paint them while he was sleeping.

the secretary told louis mr styles would meet him in his class, and louis fucking asked where he could find it, but she is obviously a bitch and didn't explain well enough.

when he finally spots it, he sighs and tries to adjust himself. _alright_ , louis, he tells himself, _you can do this_. he knocks on the door and a deep voice says "yeah?"

louis opens it "uh, i'm here for phoebe? phoebe tomlinson" he says, looking at the curly-haired boy in front of him. he must be in the wrong place. this can't be mr. styles.

"oh! you must be phoebe and daisy's dad" the boy says, smiling.

"uh" louis says, but the boy just takes a step forward and says "please, come in. i'm mr. styles, but you can call me harry" he says gesturing him to sit on a chair.

"alright. yeah. thanks" louis says, smiling shyly while he takes a seat.

harry sits in front of him, and smiles, too. he looks sweet and there are two big dimples that always appear when he smiles. "you look quite young for being phoebe's dad" harry says, and louis frowns because fuck, he can't have noticed it so soon, but then harry shakes his head and exclaims "no!, i mean, no offence, there are many men that have a child at a young age, yeah, it's no unusual anymore..."

"hey, it's okay" louis replies, suspecting harry will keep speaking if he doesn't stop him.

"alright, so" he says, relaxing again "you must know why i wanted to talk to you" the brunette nods. "phoebe"

"yes, phoebe. a wonderful kid, as smart as her sister, it’s just..." harry sighs "she doesn't talk, and i haven't received anything about the best way to handle it, and i was wondering if i could help in some way"

louis takes a deep breath, because he would love as much as harry to know the best way to go through this. he thinks for a moment of what he could reply with, because he expected to hear the teacher complaining about the kid's silence and apathy, and not to have to give some advice for it.

so, he decides to tell the truth.

"we don't... do anything" he says "she's been like this for two years, and we tried everything but it nothing works".

"but is there... a reason?" at louis' saddened expression, he adds "sorry, not my place to ask"

"no, it's fine" louis replies. "her mom left just before she stopped talking" "oh. divorce?” louis can't help but darkly chuckle. "nah. just, you know, left"

"oh"

"yeah"

"i'm sorry"

louis shrugs. "not a big loss"

"it must be difficult for you, to raise two children alone"

"love them, man" he smiles at him. harry grins and nods and for a moment they just remain like this, smiling at each other. then harry seems to snap out of his state and asks "so, i just let her not talk?" "yeah, it's the best option. she won't talk anyway. we already tried"

"alright" harry says. “by the way, she’s a wonderful child, like her sister. you’re lucky to have them and you are raising them well.”

“thanks. i do my best. their mother is not in the picture anymore, and i learned to ignore it”

harry smiles and places a hand on louis’. “you’re doing great, i assure you”.

louis immediately blushes and hopes harry won’t notice. “thanks. it’s been nice to meet you”

//

he’s walking away from the class, when harry’s deep voice gets him to stop.

"mr. tomlinson! wait!"

louis turns around to see harry walking fast toward him. "this is for you" he says, handing him a piece of paper. "what...?" "group for single parents" harry explains "every thursday at six"

"oh. thanks"

harry smiles. “you can do it”.

and it’s so fucking stupid and uselessly motivational that louis can’t help but smile.

//

louis likes pretending to listen to zayn's complaints. it's not that zayn isn't his best friend, but he knows that he likes to whine about everything.

"but like" he hears zayn saying while he's deciding whether to buy the big package of cereals or not "you know how niall is, he don't care about marriage and shit” he thinks about mr. styles. green-eyed harry styles with curly hair and a deep voice, who's so worried about phoebe and trusted louis about everything he said. "but we've been together for three years" zayn sighs. "i live with him" another sigh. "i wanna be his husband"

"mr. tomlinson?"

louis turns his head and he's face to face with mr. styles.

"oh. hi" he says, a little surprised. "hi" harry replies, beaming. "it's nice to meet you again" "yeah, uh. likewise"

"everything okay?" he asks, and louis nods "yeah. i hope the girls aren't giving you any problem at school" he says.

the teacher shakes his head. "they're wonderful, don't worry". then, he adds "your boyfriend?" gesturing at zayn, who's looking at them suspiciously. louis laughs at this, and that just makes harry blush and stutter incomprehensible things.

"luckily not. he's my best friend and neighbour"

"oh. sorry. i didn't mean-"

"hey, it's okay" louis interrupts.

mr. styles nods. "alright" he says. "i should go now"

"yeah, me too. bye, harry" the teacher grins. "bye, mark. i mean, um, mr. tomlinson".

when harry's out of sight and louis turns his head toward zayn, his best friend is looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a stupid smirk on his face.

"what?" louis asks, rolling his eyes.

"you didn't tell me your sisters' teacher looked fucking hot" zayn replies. "shut the fuck up" louis groans, exasperated.

“c’mon, louis. he looked like he wanted to ravish you” zayn says, following louis through the aisles in the supermarket.

“he wasn’t” louis replies. “wait, are you sure?”

his friend smirks. “i promise i’m not lying. you sure you two didn’t fuck?”

“zayn, he’s my sisters’ teacher” louis reminds him “and he actually thinks i’m his students’ dad”.

“he’s still hot as fuck”

“aren’t you the one who’s got a boyfriend and wants to get married with him?” louis asks, raising an eyebrow.

“i was just making an appreciation. if i were you, i would fuck him”.

“if i were you, i’d shut the fuck up”

//

louis loves his sisters so much, but sometimes he only wants them to be quiet and stay out of trouble, because their lives are already fucked up.

so, it's not that weird for him to get angry at daisy when her school's secretary calls to tell him that mr styles wants to meet him because daisy punched a kid in the face.

when he asks the child why, she just stares at the floor and mumbles something no one understands.

"daisy" louis sighs "you can't just punch people in the face"

"i told mr styles why!" she replies. “you’re the one who told fizzy that no one fucks with the tomlinsons!”

"well then, i'll talk about it with him" he tells her, regretting the words he said to his sister three months ago. "dinner ready in thirty minutes" he shakes his head, getting out of the twins' bedroom.

there's lottie in the kitchen, doing her homework. she instantly stops when he's downstairs and she asks him "what happened?"

louis shrugs. "daisy punched someone and won't tell me why" he explains "i gotta meet her teacher tomorrow to talk about it'

"you're still mark, then?" she asks.

"i have to" he says.

"what if someone finds out?"

"it's january" louis replies "and it's their last year of elementary school. as long as mr styles doesn't know, we're okay"

"just be careful, okay?" lottie says.

"aren't i always?"

lottie smiles. "indeed.”

“he’s the one that gave you that thing for single parents, right?” she asks.

“yes. told me i could do it and it’d be helpful and shit like that” he says.

“you like him, don’t you?”

“what? no!” louis exclaims.

“niall told me zayn said you met him at the grocery’s store and that he’s hot” she says.

“you need to stop talking with niall” louis replies, starting to make sandwiches.

“don’t change topic”

“i’m not… fuck, lottie, he’s phoebe and daisy’s teacher. i wouldn’t do anything with him” he says. “and even if anything happened, it wouldn’t work out. you know that”.

lottie sighs. “it’s just that you take care of everyone. and no one takes care of you, louis. i wish you had someone that deserves you”.

//

louis doesn't believe in karma, but if it exists, he must have done something terribly wrong in the past.

first: he's late (again), because fizzy decided it would be a good idea to fuck with someone else's boyfriend and get the girlfriend to run after her.

"why did you think" louis asked her before getting out of the house "that'd be a fucking good idea?"

"i didn't" fizzy said "not my fault he's a cheater. and it’s not like you haven’t done it, too”.

(that’s not technically true, louis wanted to tell her. because yes, he fucked a man already married before, but it was just that he wanted to forget that asshole of his ex-boyfriend, and the wife was a bitch, an ex-high-school cheerleader too dumb to realize her husband was fucking gay. so, it may be not the first time for a tomlinson to be chased by an angry girl, and the previous time was even worse, since the woman had written “louis tomlinson is a homewrecker faggot” on their entrance door, but still, louis was twenty one. fizzy is not even eighteen.)

second: he has glitter gel in his hair, because daisy thought he had to look cute to meet mr styles.

"daisy" he told her while trying to clean his face "why did you do this?"

"because you must be pretty" daisy replied, pouting "mr styles and you must be together"

and louis just sighed and didn’t even ask why she thought it, too, but he kept cleaning his face, not even noticing he had glitter even on his hair.

third: he's actually excited to see mr styles, and a little bit nervous. and he shouldn't be, he promised himself not to like the teacher, because harry doesn't even know his real name. he wants harry to be an old lady with an annoying voice; he wants not to like him, but fuck, he can't.

and the worst of all is that, harry styles isn’t even his type: louis either likes thug boys who usually sells drug and makes him a fucking wreck (the last one told him he was nothing to him and they shouldn’t even have started anything in the first place and fuck, that made him feel like shit, combined with the fact that lottie and fizzy hated both of them and the twins had already seen enough of terrible relationships) or the ones who won’t admit to themselves they are gay and make him feel fucking stupid for continuing a relationship that is not even real (the last one has now a wife and a three-months-old baby, and when louis found out, he felt like shit, not for the man, but for the wife and the baby).

this time, when he knocks the door opens, and he’s face to face with mr styles. “hey!” harry says. “please, come in”.

“sorry, i’m late” louis says.

“don’t worry” he replies “just take a seat”.

they both sit and louis sighs, tired.

“bad day?” harry asks.

“oh, you can’t even imagine” louis says.

“tell me about it. it usually helps” the teacher says. louis remains silent for a moment, deciding whether he’s serious or not, and then he tells him.

“my sister had sex with a boy who already had a girlfriend, and of course the girl found out and ran after my sister. i found out my new boss is a fucking asshole like everyone else and my dad thinks it’s a good idea to steal money from me to buy new booze” he explains. “and, oh” he adds “daisy though it was a good idea to paint my face and hair with glitter gel to make me look prettier”.

harry smiles. “you look pretty without it, too”.

louis blinks and wait, is harry flirting with him?

“uh. right. so, shouldn’t we talk of daisy?”

“oh! yes. you know why she punched the other student, right?”

“actually, she never told me”

“oh. well, she said that jasper, that’s the student’s name, was… making fun on phoebe because she doesn’t talk, and he called her retarded. when i asked her why she decided to punch him, she said that, and i quote, ‘no one fucks with the tomlinsons“.

“fuck” louis says, shaking his head. “i told that once to my sister, and now she uses it as an excuse for everything. i tried to make her understand she shouldn’t use violence, but she won’t stop”.

“hey, we can work something out” harry says, smiling. “she just has to learn how to handle things. have you ever thought of making her do some sport?”

louis sighs. “we did. but, ya know, it costs money”.

harry replies “oh” and then nods. he remains silent and then seems to be reflecting about something. louis is glad he hasn’t said anything about their economy situation, because he already thinks too much about it on his own.

“my flatmate is a professional trainer” he tells after a bit. “and he teaches karate to kids once a week. he owes me a favour, i could ask him to make daisy join the lessons”.

“no, that’s too much. i can’t accept” louis says, shaking his head.

“c’mon, it’s alright!” harry says, smiling and squeezing louis’ hand.

“and” he adds after a moment “i could do something myself”

louis’ breath stops and he thinks _what wait nonono this can’t be happening_.

“for you” harry adds after a moment, leaning toward him and kissing him.

and louis can’t fucking stop, can’t get himself to take his lips away, because harry’s are soft and so nice, and he doesn’t want this moment to stop.

they’re fucking uncomfortable in this position, so louis stands up, too, and reaches harry walking quickly next to him.

“fuck” harry kisses him “i wanted this” another kiss “so much”.

louis feels harry’s tongue asking for entrance, and he opens his mouth to make it enter.

they make out for a bit, touching each other. louis puts a hand in harry’s curly hair and harry keeps touching louis’ bum.

“you’re so hot” louis says, when harry starts sucking his neck.

“can i give you a blowjob?”

“fuck, you can’t be real” he replies. “of course you can. fuck”

harry kneels down immediately and unzips louis’ pants. louis’ cock is already hard and the fact that harry takes his time freeing it doesn’t make anything easier.

louis can see harry eyeing his cock and licking his lips. it’s just a matter of second and then he takes it into his mouth, first keeping only the tip on his tongue and then flicking his tongue.

“fuck”.

he knows he said the word fuck a lot, but he can’t help himself. when he feels himself coming, he pulls harry’s hair to warn him, but the boy remains still and swallows everything while louis comes with a long sigh.

“well, that was unexpected” louis says, while harry stands up wiping the remain of louis’ come from his mouth.

“you’re so hot” harry tells him, smirking. louis wants to offer to do something, but then he notices that harry has already done it while he had louis’ cock deep in his mouth.

“i should go now” he says, pulling on his pants and jeans.

“uh, i actually…”

“yeah?”

“...wanted to ask you out. for a date” harry finishes, smiling.

louis feels his knees getting weak, and, oh.

“sure”

//

louis is 90% sure harry styles isn’t real. the man has the largest number of known knock-knock jokes ever, sends him snapchats with cheeky sentences (the last one was a picture of a lollipop in his big hand featuring the sentence “i wish this was something else of yours”), is good with kids and cries watching love, actually.

and some times louis forgets harry actually thinks his name is mark and that he’s the twins’ dad, until the teacher calls him the wrong name or writes something about how lovely louis’ daughters are.

he talks to zayn about on a monday, while he’s babysitting for martha, a girl from his previous job.

“i don’t know what to do” he tells him “harry’s so fucking wonderful and i’m lying to him. he could even lose his job if someone found out about us”

“then tell him” zayn says, while texting on his phone.

“how?” louis asks, exasperated “yeah, hi, i lied to you all this time and mark is actually an asshole and my name is louis”

“louis” zayn says, sighing “harry is great, if what you say ‘bout him is true. tell him everything and he’ll get it. waiting will only make things worse”

he groans. “fuck. why do you always have to be right?”

zayn smirks. “’cause i’m your best friend”.

//

louis really tried. he did.

it just that, harry came and kissed him on the lips and told him how good he looked and then they sit at a table and ordered coffee and he asked how the girls were and louis just couldn’t. he couldn’t.

he actually almost told him after their discussion about lizzie mcguire, but then harry started talking about his sister gemma and louis closed his mouth and let him talk.

so, he’s at the same point of before. when he’s home and zayn is in the kitchen asking for his toaster back because niall really needs it, louis only emits a weird sound that vaguely sounds like his best friend’s name and zayn sighs and replies “you’re a fucking jerk”.

//

on top of everything, since it’s not like louis has a lot of problems, their mother has come back.

lottie comes home one day, closes the entrance door with anger and doesn’t look anyone before storming out upstairs.

louis blinks once and then runs to her bedroom, which door is closed.

he knocks once, and nobody answers. “lottie” he says “you okay?”

in reply, charlotte opens the door. she’s not crying (and louis is not even surprised, because lottie never cries, felicite’s the one to do that) but she’s frowning and louis is her brother, he knows if something’s not okay.

“she’s back” she says.

and louis asks “who?” even though he knows who’s back, because who else could get charlotte to be like this?

“you know who” she says, sighing. “saw her outside the alibi moments ago”.

“she saw you?”

lottie shakes her head. “she looked high”.

he chuckles darkly. “she always looks high”.

“louis”

“what?” he asks.

“she’ll come here. you know it”

“i know” louis replies. “but we can’t avoid it. she’ll find a way on her own anyway”.

they both sigh in unison and then look at each other. then, lottie says “we’ll get through this. as usual”, and louis just nods.

//

"i'm so sorry" johanna says, kneeled down in front of the twins, who are sitting on the tomlinsons' living-room's couch. they both have their mouth closed, even daisy.

charlotte in behind them, with her arms folded against her chest. her face is unreadable, but louis knows she is drowning inside. she keeps glancing at felicite, the most sensitive one in their family. she clearly has tears in her eyes and she's trying to look okay, louis knows it. they both look at him for a moment and he tries to tell them with his eyes that everything's okay, even though it isn't. the twins are still quiet and no one is talking except their mother, who keeps repeating "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry" like a mantra. unsurprisingly, it's lottie the first one to speak. "if you're so sorry, why did you leave in the first place?" jay looks taken aback; she looks at her daughter and sighs.

"'cause i needed to. this place was poison to me"

"that's the fucking problem" louis spits out, his voice full of anger. "everything's always about you. how you feel, what's best for you, what you want. WHAT ABOUT US?"

"i..."

"you knew phoebe stopped talking after you left? or that mark started drinking more than ever? that me and the girls all got jobs to pay the bills? NO, 'cause you're fucking selfish and let us alone!"

the woman starts crying at that, and louis can't even comprehend how she can be the one to be crying, when they're the one left on their own. "i wanna make up to you" she says "please".

 louis glances at the girls. charlotte is breathing deeply, trying to control herself from screaming, while felicite is looking at the floor. "we're a family" louis says "i won't decide alone". he looks at the twins, who are watching him. phoebe looks scared and even weaker than before; daisy is silently nodding.

lottie must see her, too, because she says "you can stay". johanna sighs of happiness and tries to come closer, but lottie takes a step backward. "even though you'll fuck this up" she adds. then she disappears upstairs.

johanna looks at louis with pleading eyes, but he just shrugs. fizzy is more cautious. she turns her head up and calmly shakes her head toward her mom.

"fiz" she says, smiling hopefully.

 "go hug the twins, they need it" the girl only replies before going up the stairs.

//

"hey" louis says later, approaching felicite in her and lottie's bedroom.

"lou" fizzy says, trying to smile.

"you okay?" he asks, sitting next to her on the bed. she shrugs. "she's already ruined me" felicite says "i don't want that for our sisters".

louis sighs, placing a hand on her knee. "she's already ruined everyone here, fiz" he tells her.

"you remember when she missed for a month?" the girl asks. louis nods. "she came back and she seemed normal. came to my volleyball games and helped me with my homework". she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. "when she went away again, i wasn't worried. i waited a month, thinking she would come back eventually and that everything was going to get back to normal"

"fiz..."

"it's been two years, lou. and now she comes back and wants to make up for the lost time. and you've been always here and she doesn't even acknowledge that!"

"fiz, it's okay. you know how she is".

the girl nods, and smiles at him quickly. "go out tomorrow" she says. "me and lot can watch her and the twins. lottie told me about the twins' teacher". she winks at him and louis feels himself blush.

"you need to stop talking with lottie about me".

"hey, you should be glad, we're looking out for you. and if the guy ever hurts you, be sure we'll get out revenge".

//

when he meets harry the day after, the teacher is wearing a flowered bandana and a pair of boots that looks dirtier than the tomlinsons' ones. he greets louis with a kiss on the corner of his lips and he tells him that dinner is almost ready. it's in that moment that louis notices he's wearing a apron with a puppy drawn on the chest.

"i'm making pasta" he tells him while they're walking to the kitchen. "liam just went away. i think he's got a new girlfriend, because he's always out these days. you want some wine?" they start talking about everything and nothing; then harry tells him the past is ready and they take their seats.

"so, what's wrong?" he asks. "you sounded stressed".

louis reflects about it for a minute. he knows he should tell him a lie, but how could he? he's already told so much shit to harry. "daisy and phoebe's mum came back" he says.

harry stiffens. "oh"

"yeah. she rang the bell yesterday and started crying, telling me how sorry she was. i told her to go away but she wanted to see the twins"

"they're with her?"

"yes, but i left my sister to look out for me. that woman's crazy" louis replies, rolling his eyes. he can't really read harry's face in this moment, because it looks so weird. "they're already so broken. i didn't know what to do when she came back. she always says she's sorry but i know she'll leave anyway".

"but you're not, like, still in love with her?" harry asks, then, and, oh. louis gets it now.

"no" he says firmly. "not at all"

harry emits a sigh of relief, and then places a hand on louis'.

"you don't deserve this and neither do your children" he tells him. "and... i've known you for less than two months but i like you so much mark, and you just have to tell me, if you want some help, and i'll be there". louis squeezes his hand and smiles. "thanks" he says.

//

later, when they’re on the couch watching some crappy movie on netflix, they start making out. harry’s lips taste of wine and his hands are touching louis everywhere. he squeezes his bum and louis gets hard.

“fuck” he says, detaching his lips from harry’s for a moment, before returning to kiss him.

“you swear a lot” harry says, before starting to suck a lovebite on his neck.

louis doesn’t reply; instead, he goes on harry’s lap and start struggling him.

“take this off” harry says, touching the hem of his shirt.

louis does so, and harry imitates him a moment after.

he doesn’t really expect it, when harry puts his hands on his ass and stands up.

he screeches and wraps his legs around the younger boy’s waist.

“can i take you to the bedroom?” he asks, already starting to move.

“yes, please” louis says.

harry’s actually extremely gentle with him. he lays him on the bed and starts taking his pants off. louis lets him do it because no one has ever been so gentle with him.

“harry” he whines. “c’mon”

harry nods and reaches his drawer to take out lube and condoms.

louis watches as harry spreads the lube on his fingers. then, he pushes a finger inside his hole. “are you okay?” harry asks. louis watches in his wide pupils and nods.

harry adds another finger, and then another one. he thrusts them into louis and scissors them until louis croaks out a “fuck, i’m ready, c’mon”.

harry opens the condom and puts it on his cock, which he lubes a moment after. he places it right in front of louis’ hole, before entering it.

he’s slow, at first, and his thrusts aren’t too deep. then, the rhythm gets faster and deeper. louis wraps his legs around his waist to get harry closer, while the younger boy thrusts into him.

“fuckfuckfuck” louis says, a moment before coming. harry comes two seconds after him with a broken moan.

he detaches himself from louis to take off the condom. they lay on the bed in silence, emitting loud breaths.

“it’s okay, by the way” harry says.

“what?”

“that you curse. i like it”.

//

"jesus christ" louis says, getting up. he was trying to take a nap after having to wake up at four a.m. to gain a hundred dollars, and now his fucking parents are screaming like babies.

he wants them to go away; he wants to go to harry's and curl up beside him and sleep for the rest of his life.

 he reaches downstairs quickly and in the kitchen he sees jay and mark screaming at each other with anger in their eyes.

"what the fuck's happening?" louis asks, interrupting the debate.

 "your dad is a fucking piece of shit!" jay replies, pointing at the man with her index finger.

"i know" louis sighs, exasperated.

"oh, shut up" mark says. "you're the one who's a stubborn bitch" and then they go back arguing. that's when felicite arrives.

"i thought you were out with the twins" louis says. "no, they're with lottie. i had to study" she answers. then she opens her mouth to say something, but someone knocks on the door (louis is surprised they can hear the knocks over the shouts) and she goes to the entrance, while louis remains with her parents to make sure they don't destroy the house. he's still trying to understand what the argument is about, when fizzy's voice says "dad, it's for you" and they all stop to look who's arrived.

and, fuck. it's harry. harry, who first looks at felicite, and then at louis, and then at louis' parents. he looks confused, as if he's just woken up from a dream.

"i didn't know you had more than two daughters" he tells louis, raising an eyebrow.

"i..."

"what?" mark exclaims, frowning.

"shut up, mark" jay tells him, with death in her eyes.

"mark? you name's mark?" harry says, eyes widening in surprise. "then who the fuck are you?" he asks, looking at louis, who sighs.

mark barks out a laugh. "you thought my son louis was me?".

"louis?" the man just nods. "yeah, that's me".

"then, what... fuck. you lied to me all this time? you're only the girls' brother?" he nods again. "fuck. i knew it was too good to be true" he says. he drops the bag he had in a hand on the ground and then he storms away.

"well then" mark says, "i guess lying just runs through the tomlinsons' veins"

"shut up, mark" johanna says, and then they start screaming again. and louis' world feels fucking horrible right now.

//

louis spends three hours in bed, sends harry fourteen texts and tries to call him five times. daisy and phoebe get in his bed tries to comfort him, even though they don’t know what happened. lottie takes the role to kick out their parents for a bit and fizzy tries to placate the fight. harry doesn’t call back.

//

two days after, zayn storms in the tomlinsons’ household with a pack of beers and his boyfriend behind.

“man” niall says, patting him on the back “boys are dicks”.

“niall” zayn groans “that’s the only thing you can think of?”

the bartender shrugs. “it’s the truth”.

louis can’t help but smile because at least, someone’s relationship is doing okay.

“really, guys” he says “you don’t have to be here. go have sex”.

“no way!” niall exclaims. “we’re your friends. you need to cheer up, mate”.

zayn nods. “you need to think of something else”.

“i do, have you seen my parents?” he replies. they’ve taken both daisy and phoebe for the day and louis is really worried.

“i mean, let’s drink and get wasted” zayn says.

“z” louis says. “that’s really sweet, but i just need to drown in my own misery now, alright?”

“but…”

“zayn”.

“we’re not leaving you. we stay here. spend a little time with you”.

//

it’s three a.m. and daisy and phoebe still aren’t home. louis tries to spot one of them in the streets, but they’re just not there.

“i shouldn’t have fucking trusted them” louis says “fuck fuck fuck. i knew it”.

“louis” zayn says “calm down. we need to stay calm”.

“no, fuck” he replies. “DAISY! PHOEBE!”

“louis” zayn tries again “niall and lottie already went to the police station. we’re not going to find them now”.

louis just breathes. in and out, in and out.

“let’s go home”.

//

it’s six a.m. when the police takes the twins home.

“we found them in a park” the officer explains. “one of the girls was crying and we heard her”.

louis holds phoebe tightly. she’s wrapped in a blanket but she’s still shivering and she doesn’t want to let go. charlotte has daisy in her arms and she’s trying to get her to stop crying.

“they were alone?” felicite asks.

the man nods. “the only ones in the park”.

“fuck” louis mutters. “i’ll kill them”.

“thanks, officer” fizzy says, smiling brightly—louis has yet to know how she can do it even in the worse situations. “they wouldn’t be home without you”.

“be sure to warm them up or they may get ill” the officer says. “g’night”.

“goodnight” the three siblings says, while fizzy opens the door to let the man out.

when the door closes again, they all sigh. they look at each other for a bit, until lottie says “let’s go put them in bed”.

//

louis is preparing lunch when mark and johanna come back home.

they look wasted, but happy. they’re smiling and laughing like they’ve never been more in love and louis can’t do anything but hate them; because they’re fucked up, because they fucked him up, because they fucked their daughters up.

“louis” jay says when she walks into the kitchen. “here you are”.

“where the fuck” louis asks “were you?”

marks smirks. “out” he says, opening the fridge and taking a beer out.

“you left the girls alone, out in the cold. at three a.m.” he reminds them, fuming as they don’t seem to care.

“oh, yeah, i’d forgotten” jay says, laughing. “are they okay?”

and, no, fuck, louis can’t do this. he can’t pretend everything’s okay.

“you need to get out” he tells the woman.

“what?!”

“out” he remarks. “you need to leave and never come back”

“louis, don’t over exaggerate”.

“OUT!” he screams.

that’s when the girls come down.

“what’s happening?” lottie asks before spotting johanna and mark.

“son, don’t talk to your mother like that” mark says, apparently calm.

“no, you don’t talk to me like that” louis says. “don’t talk to anyone”.

jay looks at charlotte and felicite. “you don’t want me to leave, right?”

fizzy doesn’t say anything. lottie nods and says “you need to leave”.

johanna immediately starts crying and louis can’t even fathom it, can’t believe she’s really crying and no, no, he should be the one crying. “get out of this house. now” he repeats.

//

it’s later, while louis is checking daisy’s body temperature, jay’s gone and mark’s out somewhere, that felicite approaches him.

“lou” she says “can i talk to you for a second after you’ve finished with them?”

after some minutes, they sit together on the porch’s stairs. fizzy is smoking a cigarette and louis wants to know when she started looking like an adult.

“you want to talk to me about something?” he asks, worried.

“yeah” she says. “about harry”.

“what about him?”

felicite sighs and offers louis the cigarette. while he takes a drag of it, she replies:”i know i’m not the best at relationship advice, but if i know something, is that when you really like someone you shouldn’t give up”.

louis remains silent. he looks at her little sister, grown and tall and too pretty for the southside.

“you need to apologize, lou. tell him everything. why you did that, what you feel for him, and so on”

“he doesn’t want to see me” he replies.

“just because he doesn’t pick up the phone? jesus, men are fucking jerks” she says. “that’s why women were invented. to think for you assholes”.

//

when he knocks at the door, louis doesn’t expect to find a tall man with brown hair and big eyes and muscles that are a little terrifying.

“yeah?” the man says, raising an eyebrow.

“uh, hi. i was looking for harry” louis says, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“who’s looking for harry?” the man asks.

louis is fucking terrified. “um, louis. well, mark”.

the man, who’s probably harry’s flatmate liam, frowns and says. “you’re fucking stupid. you want to hurt him again?”

“no, no, please, let me talk to him, i came here to explain!”

liam grunts, but then lets louis come in.

“stay here” he tells him “i’m gonna call harry”

louis gulps and stays still for a few minutes. then, he hears footsteps and then the curly-haired man is in front of him, dressed in an oversized green jumper and with dark circles under his eyes.

“i’ll be in the kitchen” liam says, before walking away and sending a death glare to louis.

"you look good in green" it's the first thing louis says, because he's weak like that and harry does look good in green.

"louis" harry says. "what are you doing here?"

louis sighs. "wanted to give you and explanation" he replies.

"you can sit" harry says, gesturing to the couch and taking a seat, followed by louis.

"i... i am..." louis begins. he's nervous and scared not to say the right things, but he can't waste this opportunity, he knows he can't. "i wanted to apologize, because the way i treated you was shitty and you don't deserve any of this"

harry nods, his face softens a bit and louis keeps speaking. "my dad is an alcholic and my mother is bipolar. he's never completely lucid and she can't take care of herself. i have always been the one to look after the girls and when your letter came i was scared, 'cause the girls have been take by child care at least seven times, and i couldn't let that happen again". harry sighs, shakes his head.

"i get that you were worried. and i understand why you did it. but you lied to me even when i was more than a teacher for you. that's the problem".

"i wanted to tell you everything" louis hurries to say, scooting closer to harry. "but every time i tried to... you were just so fucking perfect and i was so worried i would lose you" he explains. harry frowns, but doesn't say anything. "i keep asking myself why i did this, and the only answer that i can come up with is that i was trying to prove something… not to you, but to myself. prove that i didn’t’ deserve you. and in the end i was right."

"lou" harry says. "you're wonderful"

louis laughs. "i'm fucked up, harry. no boyfriend material. i have four sisters to take care of, and two of them are only ten. my dad used to hit me when i was a baby and my mom is crazy. i left school before graduating. worked as a pole-dancer in a gay club and sold my body to pay the bills. i just... i thought it was too good to be true"

"lou" harry repeats, getting closer to louis. he takes one of his hands in his and caresses it with his thumb. "you're beautiful. and generous. and kind and i'm the one who doesn't deserve you".

he starts crying at that, millions of tears flooding from his eyes, on his cheeks, and harry is suddenly wrapping his arms around him, kissing his head, letting him take it out, like he hasn’t done in years.

“it’s okay” harry whispers. “i’m here”.

//

three months later

“don’t worry” harry says “they’ll love you”.

“but haz” louis whines, looking at his reflection for the hundredth time. “what if they think i’m trashy?”

“you are not” harry replies, rolling his eyes. “and they’ll be all over the twins anyway. you can’t compete with two adorable eleven-years-old”.

louis sighs and decides to wear an indigo button-up with dark jeans and black vans, that he bough to replace the last ones.

he goes to the twins’ bedroom and notes happily that they’re already dressed up and waiting patiently on daisy’s bed.

charlotte and felicite comes ten seconds after, with their make-up and chaste dresses. they smile at him and calls the girls.

“my family’s house is twenty minutes from here, so we should go” harry tells them. fizzy and lottie nod and take the twins down the stairs.

harry must sense louis’ nervousness, because he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and kisses him on his temple.

“it’ll be okay” he says. “i’m here”.

//

it goes like this: harry’s mum anne hugs louis like an old friend when they arrive. gemma tells louis lots of funny and embarrassing story about his brother as a child. harry blushes a lot. anne’s husband never stops smiling. daisy speaks a lot and phoebe says “hi”. lottie talks with gemma. fizzy helps anne in the kitchen. louis doesn’t think about mark. no one talks about louis’ parents. harry kisses him in the kitchen against the counter and tells him how happy he is. gemma smirks a lot. she corners him in the kitchen and tells him not to lie to his little brother again. louis promises he won’t. the twins show harry’s family the drawing they made for them and they all clap their hands excitedly. there’s a strange feeling in the house everything smells nice.

when they get home later, harry stays the night. he kisses louis deeply and mark is nowhere to be seen. everyone is sleeping except them and louis can sense harry’s eyes searching for his even in the dark. there’s a man singing in the street and harry’s laughing. louis doesn’t hate this house. he thinks he’s used to it, after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, you can contact me at lou-eee.tumblr.com or hidngplace.tumblr.com (yes i changed url)


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